I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
