the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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