Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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