Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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