So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
