they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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