people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
