If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
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I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We had sex on a dog bed..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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