were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
