she smelled like a LAN party
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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