Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
