is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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