We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
