carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
