The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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