You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
