Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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