i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
