I heard we made out
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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