maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize