I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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