My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish i was in the wii world.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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