im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
