he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
