Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
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there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
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I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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