What a fucking waste of an outfit
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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