Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
