You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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