I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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