I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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