Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize