Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
