you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
