I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize