I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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