Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
