Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
this hospital has no fireball
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
