I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.