somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
