why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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