Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
