Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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