so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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