that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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