it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize