Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
