if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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