I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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