I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
