id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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