god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
