Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize